the christmas-y spirit.

I read this every year. I think it is so perfectly written and beautiful. I am very glad to believe in Santa clause and all the unseen wonders in this world.

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

texts from my dad. Volume 6.

"Ashaleeeeeeto

i miss you toooooo.

hope you're over the cold and doing great things. won't be long before we'll be cooking together.

Love, Dad"

some truth.

"Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow."

-J.M. Barrie

"Dear Zachary"

I cry in movies.

that is just a fact. I can't help but become connected to characters and stories; to become invested in the journeys. Even when I try really hard not to cry (because, let's face it, it is a little embarrassing when you are caught weeping through "Lilo and Stitch") I am unsuccessful. Those darn tears just come and make a mess on my sweater...

I am in a documentary phase. I go on netflix and i search the instant play documentaries until i find one i think will be interesting. So one day I found this documentary called "Dear Zachary: A letter to a son about his father". I read the brief synopsis which basically said it was a movie this guy made because his friend was murdered and he wanted to create something so that the victims son could know who his father was. It sounded very tragic but it also seemed like it could be something really beautiful. I knew that I would cry because the very nature of the story is a sad one, not to mention this was a documentary and not a fictional story so that just made the whole thing more weep-worthy.

I started the movie and, as predicted, i started crying. Nearly immediately.

this movie was different however, because i literally cried the whole movie long. Usually I have some reprieve...

And then, somewhere near the end of the movie something so utterly heartbreaking happened and I suddenly felt like i wasn't sure my body could handle it. I don't think I have ever wept so deeply in my whole life. I felt like i couldn't breathe and my body was heaving and, if i hadn't been trying my very hardest to be quiet because my roommates were sleeping, I am certain i would have screamed. It was an emotion i have never felt before and it was so thorough and gutteral...and frightening.

the movie ended and i just kept on crying. and when i finally stopped all i could do was sit and be awed and be thankful.

the movie was tragic. tragic beyond what you think anyone could survive. but it was beautiful. It was about someone who was loved, in the truest sense of the word. I will always be haunted by it.

always.