are my knees knocking???

Today I did something I am genuinely terrified of. And I did it for me and not really for anyone else. and other people liked it! it felt free. and wonderful. and alive. and like i just might be good at something...

Don't go changing.

Today I am sad that things must change, but that doesn't change the simple fact they must. it doesn't change that they should. You should be with her. We don't feel that way for each other. In fact that is one of my favorite things about us, our easy comfortability and knowledge of who we are as a pair. No matter what people may say, we know: we are friends. and of course that won't change.
the next time you call her up cause you want to talk i will try not to feel my stomach sink as i realize i am not "your person" anymore. maybe i never was really, but sometimes i got to feel like i was. you don't want my opinion; you want hers. you don't want to watch a movie next to me on the couch. its not exciting to hold my hand. when i am there and so is she, i am the wall paper. its not so much a feeling of jealousy so much as it is just a feeling that something is gone. Something i used to have is now gone from my hands. I would give it to her gladly. I love her a lot too. you guys could be great together. this is the way things should be. it is the way things should happen. I am not your person anymore, but its ok. I love you. and i will always will be your person if you ever need one. Go get her. slay the dragon. be the shining white knight. make the rescue. I will be the one who video tapes it. deal?

"what a beautiful mess this is"

I am in love with this picture. I think this picture is a a very good demonstration of what i think about life. First of all to look at it is breathtaking, and then you look closer and you can see that while each flower is beautiful and unique, the whole thing is a sort of jumbled and tangled mess of intertwining leaves and stems and roots. Its is confusing and if you were buried in it it would probably seem dark and hopless, but the truth is that each flower, though wrapped around others, is its own and has its own roots and its own freedom to grow. And then above it all is the light. The light that makes everything glow and makes it all feel so hopeful. and most importantly the light is what helps us make sense of the mess below.

some of the flowers bloom and some have not. some have grown tall and others have shyed away from the sun. some are pink and some are red and some are white. but each of them share the same earth and the same needs.
life is beautiful.
and i am going to the beach tomorrow.
:)

wild thing....you make my HEART SING!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--N9klJXbjQ

i am so excited for this...there are hardly words. just watching this short trailer makes me feel inspired and awed and contemplative about the way i could see the word. and about the way children see the world. and about how there is so much truth in what they see. and how it is often much greater than the way i see things on a daily basis. its been far too long since i have thought about the wild things...

unbreak my heart...

i have just discovered that i have a very very strong distaste for heart shaped jewelry. i do not like it.
that is all.