Anyway

Anyway.

I love this word.

at exactly the same time, it terrifies me.

I feel like I am constantly trying to learn how to live this word. How can I look at this world, or know what I know, or feel anything, or have been involved in my own life and be able to do anything "anyway"?

But I think the only way to actually have a life is to live by "anyway". To make anything out of the mess in this world I have to learn to be able to look at it and live in it and see it for what it is, and then I have to throw some of my constant rationalization and my perceived reality away... and trust anyway. and leap anyway. and risk anyway. and share anyway.

and love anyway.

with reckless abandon.

to live anyway.

anyway means being ready to feel and to hurt and to be absolutely breakable. To let things in.

most of the time, I don't live anyway. but sometimes, i do.

and the rest of the time i am learning how to figure it out.